15 Ways to Love More Effectively

Today is Valentine’s Day, the day set apart to shower the special people in your life with all the love they deserve. If you’re scrambling to find that perfect way to demonstrate your affection beyond the usual heart-shaped cards or box of chocolates, I understand. Wanting others to know what they mean to you is … Continue reading 15 Ways to Love More Effectively

Today is Valentine’s Day, the day set apart to shower the special people in your life with all the love they deserve. If you’re scrambling to find that perfect way to demonstrate your affection beyond the usual heart-shaped cards or box of chocolates, I understand.

Wanting others to know what they mean to you is great, but expressing it can be a challenge.

A few years ago, my wife wrote a lesson in which she detailed the importance of loving people according to what Dr. Gary Chapman referred to as their “primary love language.” In summary, we all give and receive love differently; to one person, a hug is enough to brighten a morning; to another, a surprise home-cooked meal is more meaningful than the shiniest jewelry.

I decided to add to her wisdom by providing a list of 15 simple and effective ways to love people according to the five love languages. If you are unsure how to identify someone’s primary love language, I encourage you to read Joy’s post—or have your friends and family take the online quiz.

Words of Affirmation

A well-timed compliment often has the power to make a words-of-affirmation person’s day. For them, the more specific, the better. They don’t merely need to know that they are amazing—they need to know why.

1. Scatter loving and encouraging notes across the house, in their car, or in their packed lunch.

2. Compile a list of 15-20 of your favorite things about them, and read it aloud.

3. Observe what they seem insecure about and point your affirmation in that direction.

Acts of Service

Nothing says “I love you” to people who value service like going out of your way to do something you don’t enjoy just because you care about them. Loving these people will vary depending on their circumstances, but here are some timeless ideas.

1. Wash their car. If possible, do so while they’re sleeping or otherwise preoccupied so their clean car will be a surprise.

2. Make their favorite meal when they least expect it.

3. Offer to run an errand for a busy or overwhelmed friend.

Gifts

For these people, a dozen red roses will certainly not suffice. They need to know that you put thought into a gift, and that you were willing to go through the extra effort to pick something out just for them.

1.  For a spouse or an old friend, find a gift that is reminiscent of a particularly joyful time in your relationship (i.e. an old record that you listened to as teenagers, a piece of jewelry from where you went on a vacation or honeymoon, etc.).

2. Give little things throughout the day or week and at unexpected times. Many gifts, regardless of cost, are usually more meaningful for gift-oriented people than one large, expensive present.

3. For those who never stop talking about a certain band or TV show, consider buying them fan merchandise (t-shirt, mug, etc.). It will likely result in a good laugh and show that you listen and care about their interests.

Quality Time

This is the love language that can be easily whisked aside when life gets busy. It’s important to recognize that even if you only have 20 minutes to spend with someone, you can make it count.

1.  Make a lunch or breakfast “date” with your child or grandparent, and let them choose the place, even if it’s a place you don’t like.

2. Make spending time together a habit. Whether it means having a short coffee break with your husband every afternoon or lunch with your daughter every Thursday, regularly blocking out time is a great way to ensure these people feel loved and appreciated.

3. Give them your full attention when you’re together: ask pointed questions, put your phone down, and listen well.

Physical Touch

Loving these people often requires making simple and conscious choices throughout the day to ensure that they feel connected, even when it doesn’t come naturally for you.

1. Sit close to them when you’re watching a movie or TV show.

2. Give a foot or back massage (when appropriate, of course).

3. Hug them. This may seem simple, but even if you’re not a hugger, make a point to properly embrace those in your life who are.

My Challenge

Healthy relationships are essential to a meaningful life. Don’t let loving others take the back seat to your career and ambitions. Find a balance and a way to not just love, but to love well. I encourage you to discover the love language of those closest to you and start applying these tips.

Do you have any additional ideas or experiences on loving people according to their love language? Please share in the comments below.

The most important relationships in your life are with your family members and close friends.  Love these people they way they need to feel your love. 

How to Share Private Posts with User Groups in WordPress

WordPress allows you to create private posts and even password protected posts. The problem with private posts is that you need to have editor level permissions to see this post. But what if you wanted to share post with only a specific group of people… Read More »

The post How to Share Private Posts with User Groups in WordPress appeared first on WPBeginner.

WordPress allows you to create private posts and even password protected posts. The problem with private posts is that you need to have editor level permissions to see this post. But what if you wanted to share post with only a specific group of people such as family members or work team? In this article, we will show you how to share posts with users groups in WordPress.

First thing you need to do is install and activate the WP JV Post Reading Groups. Upon activation go to Settings » Reading to create reading groups.

Creating reading groups for your WordPress site

Start by entering a name for your reading group and then click on ‘Add new reading group’ button. Repeat this step, if you need more than one reading group.

Once you are satisfied, it is time to add users into your reading groups.

Go to the Users page in your WordPress admin area and edit the user you want to add to a group. You will find the WP JV Reading Groups section towards the bottom of the screen.

Simply check the box next to the user group where you want to add this user. You can also add a user into multiple groups. Don’t forget to click on update user button when you are done.

Adding user into reading group

Sharing a Post with User Groups

Now that you have your users group setup, let’s take a look at how you can privately share posts with a specific user group.

Start by creating a new post or editing an existing one. You will notice the new WP JV Reading groups meta box.

You can click the checkbox next to the group name you want to share the post with. Next, Under the Publish meta box click on the Edit link next to Visibility, and set your post to private.

Sharing a post privately with a user group

That’s all. You can now update or publish the post, and it will be only visible to the users in the user group you selected.

Note: User groups don’t give any special permissions to your users. The capability of users on your WordPress site will remain the same. Please see our beginner’s guide on WordPress user roles.

We hope this article helped you learn how to share your posts with user groups in WordPress. You may also want to take a look at how to allow users to submit posts to your WordPress site.

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The post How to Share Private Posts with User Groups in WordPress appeared first on WPBeginner.

Making Your Weaknesses Relevant

One on the most misunderstood statements today is this: “Focus on your strengths and make your weaknesses irrelevant.”  Every time I hear or read it, I cringe and think, “What if your weaknesses are relevant?”

Excuses for Weaknesses

Have you ever heard people make excuses for poor performance?  Then they followed it by an explanation like this: “That’s just the way I am; it’s part of my DNA.”  Or, “That is one of my weak points.” Or, “I’m just not good at that.”  Then they blow it off like it’s acceptable.

How much respect would you have for someone who is always late and says… read more

One on the most misunderstood statements today is this: “Focus on your strengths and make your weaknesses irrelevant.”  Every time I hear or read it, I cringe and think, “What if your weaknesses are relevant?”

Excuses for Weaknesses

Have you ever heard people make excuses for poor performance?  Then they followed it by an explanation like this: “That’s just the way I am; it’s part of my DNA.”  Or, “That is one of my weak points.” Or, “I’m just not good at that.”  Then they blow it off like it’s acceptable.

How much respect would you have for someone who is always late and says, “I’m sorry, but it’s awfully hard for me to be on time.”

How successful would a tennis player be who is exceptional at every part of his game, but can’t serve?

How far within your organization would a person get who does his or her job well, but can’t communicate effectively with co-workers?

Or, think about the young father who is a dedicated dad but has a real problem with his temper.  How do you think his relationship would be with his wife and children if he thought, “I’m so good at everything else, I‘m just not going to worry about my temper?  They will have to accept me the way I am”?

For most of us, our weaknesses are relevant and the worst thing we can do is to ignore them or discount their importance.

Deal With Your Weakness

Author Nathaniel S. Summers said, “The strength of a person is often weighed by how they deal with their weaknesses.” 

When I started my entrepreneurial career 31 years ago, my English was awful. (It had been my worst subject in school.)  It quickly became clear to me that if I wanted to be successful, I would have to focus on my written communications and make them a strength.  Today, I proof all my emails and consider the little things I can do to improve my messages, even if they’re casual emails going to my family and friends.

I am an extreme introvert but, because I consciously work on it, no one would ever know if I did not tell them.  I realized if I were going to be successful, I would have to push myself outside my comfort zone and work on my people skills and make them a strength.

How do you feel about your weaknesses?  Are you intentional about working on them or have you fallen into the trap of thinking they don’t matter?  Do you think or say, “That’s just the way I am.  I can’t help it.  Don’t expect me to change”?

If your co-workers sat in a conference room and made a list of your greatest weaknesses, what would be on the list?  As you consider the things they would discuss, how many of those things could you improve tomorrow, if you were intentional?

If your spouse or significant other were to make a list of the things you do that bug him or her, what would be put on the list?  As you think of the most likely answers, how hard would it be to stop doing those things, if you really tried?

Rewards for Turning Weaknesses into Strengths

What many people don’t realize is that their weaknesses are holding them back from enjoying more meaningful relationships, advancing their careers, improving their self-images and confidence, and living happier lives.

I am a firm believer that when you do the little things that you know you should do, without excuses, you feel better about yourself and the person you are becoming.  When you blow them off or discount them, your subconscious knows the truth.  When you repeatedly fail to do the things you know you should do, it’s impossible to feel good about yourself.

The fact is that 95% of the weaknesses I see holding people back are things they could change today, by simply being intentional.

My Three Challenges For You

1.  Change Your Attitude.

Never again allow yourself to think or believe that weaknesses are irrelevant.  You can change weaknesses into strengths.

Michael Jordan said, “My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength.”

2.  Acknowledge your weaknesses.

The first step towards improving your weaknesses is to openly acknowledge them.

3. Be Intentional.

Choose one weakness and start today to work on it at home, at work, and in your social circles.

For most people, it’s not the lack of focus on their strengths that holds them back; it’s the lack of focus on their weaknesses!